Wheelchair privileges

June 14, 2021

Today, I’m grateful for: Wheelchair privileges!!!

Today I finally got to see my Calvin!!!!! Wheelchair privleges got approved and I got to spend a little time with my sweet boy. We hugged, we went on a wheelchair ride and we even “played” hide and seek. It was emotional and soul-nourishing all at the same time.

It’s incredibly bittersweet because I so badly ache to be with him, but even when we’re together, I can’t BE with him the way I want. I just want to jump out of that wheelchair, run and scoop him up and give him the tightest hug. But I can’t. So it becomes this sick tease where I can see him, and interact with him verbally, but mostly I am observing. Like a fly on the wall watching my sweet child from afar while he pulls at my mama heartstrings.

But I have learned I cannot dwell on these things. I have to remind myself that these few months of weirdness for him won’t make a difference in the long run. I have learned I have to focus on taking it one day at a time, and focus on what I have to be grateful for.

So today, I’m grateful for the opportunity to see my son. Even if I have to do it drug-deal style in the middle of a parking lot on a 90° day (thanks COVID) in a wheelchair…I am still grateful.

XO

SS