I've spent my day reminiscing alllllll the love and gratitude I've felt these past few days as I rang in my thirties surrounded by love from so many wonderful friends and family. This milestone was extra special for me considering there were a handful of times this year that I wasn't quite sure I was gonna make it to 30. My 30th birthday marks the start of a new decade, and a new chapter in life. I don't know about you, but there were many times in my childhood that I remember thinking about people who were *30*, and feeling like that was soooooo old. These were *adults* who definitely had all their shit *together* and were basically just coasting out their remaining years doing *grownup* stuff...
HA!....welp, here I am! And I'm either majorly in denial, or I was majorly mistaken as a child =P I'm rolling with the latter. Age to me has always just been a number. I like to describe myself as an old soul with a childlike spirit, regardless of what the calendar year says. But I have to admit, there is something about 30 that feels refreshing to me. An opportunity to fully integrate the wisdom gained through my first three decades of life, let go of what no longer serves me and chart a new course for where I want to go. In the spirit of acknowledging some of that "wisdom" that's been gained, I walk into my thirties knowing that anything can change (including my own wants, needs and desires), and nobody has ever answered the question, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?", and been RIGHT. But I think there's value in a good reflection and I'm a sucker for a good goal-setting exercise, so let's see what we get, eh?
What do I want out of my next decade?
OK, it's hard to remember how different the world was that we lived in even just a few short years ago, so perhaps these goals and guidelines won't quite persist in their entirety over the next decade. But as I embark on my 30s, there are few things I want to place a refreshed focus on, and see where it takes me:
1. Establish boundaries.
Boundaries, for me, are hard. It has gotten a little easier with age, and a little easier in motherhood. But it is still a daily struggle to figure out where you start to draw lines between where you can and where you can't, what you do and what you don't, and everything in between. These lines get blurry at times which makes commitment and follow-through even more challenging. But I think there's more I can do to get ever-clearer about what my priorities are, and ultimately, what that means for where I set (and follow-through on!) boundaries.
2. To say what I mean.
There's some serious re-programming work to be done here, and I'm fully aware that it won't come easy. I sometimes even surprise myself when I think about how hard it is for me to say what I mean. I am a very honest person, but as a type-A, people-pleasing, recovering perfectionist-type (yeah, that kind ;P ), my knee-jerk reactions can, at-times, leave a muddy message overpowered more by what I think others want to hear, instead of what I truly ought to say. I'm working on it. And it gets better each time I make a conscious choice to be patient with myself, and more thoughtfully say what I mean.
3. Be patient.
There are countless applications here, but in general, I simply don't want to lose sight of the grace, patience, and all-around slower pace I became so intimately familiar with through the challenges of the last year. This patience extends to grace as I let go of the expectations and flurry of "shoulds" and "what-ifs" that keep the anxiety hamster wheel spinning. By slowing down, breathing a little more deeply, and keeping my eye on the balls that are right in front of me, I know that patience will continue to serve me well.
4. To double-down on the relationships that mean the most.
And let go of those that don't. It sounds harsh, but I think this revelation is one we all go through at various times in life. As I embark on a new chapter of life, this feels like the right time to take a step back, re-evaluate my inner circle, and ensure that the relationships I pour my heart and energy into are reciprocating the kind of love and energy I need to thrive in this lifetime.
5. To spend my time where it matters most.
From relationships and hobbies to careers and family time...time is the single resource we can NEVER ever get any more of. We're all given then SAME 24 hours in the day, and 30, 40, or 50 years down the road, I want to make sure I can look back and feel really good about where I spent mine.
I don't think my child-self could've ever imagined what it would be like to be thirty. But I'm happy to say that it feels pretty dang good to be here right now, full of life, full of love and full of gratitude.
Cheers to a new chapter!
XO
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