December 11, 2020
Reflection: What is for me cannot be against me
Today, I'm grateful for: Reminders to live in the present.
Challenge: Take a deep breath, and let go of whatever expectation you set for yourself today.
The universe works in wild ways. The lessons we learn are often understood only in hindsight. Like the idea that good things fall apart so better things can fall together. That one door closing leads to a better one opening. That God doesn't say "No", but rather, I" have something better in mind."
I think we've all experienced some flavor of this this year. Whether we know it or not, we're living history, and despite the many new obstacles that have been thrown our way, I'm hopeful that we'll look back a year from now and think, "Ahhh, I see now." I'm hopeful that the chaos of the now will lead to a transformation personally, societally and internationally. That we can pick up the pieces of what was and build something better. And that we can all learn to live a bit more in the present.
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
-Buddha
But as we all know, living in the present is far more difficult than it sounds. As humans, we grasp at straws for any sense of control. We want to be the captain of the ship. And as we have all-so-painfully learned, we. are. not. Motherhood has taught me so much about this concept. From the day my son was born, I learned there are some things that just aren't meant to go the way you expected. That doesn't mean we aren't allowed to have aspirations. It means that it's OK to have them, AND it's ok to change them. And changing your expectations doesn't mean you're giving up! It just means that you're working with different information than you were before, and now you have a new idea of what your outcome might be.
Surrendering has been my theme for 2020. I actually decided that in the New Year, and little did I know how relevant it would become! I could go on and on about this concept, but I'll leave you with a few tools I use when I need to reset, refresh and recall that I am not in control, and that's OK:
Ask Yourself
Is this a problem that needs to be solved right now?
What is in my control? What isn’t? (accept them both)
What am I trying to figure out? What am I trying to fix? (this is the illusion of control.)
What am I afraid of? (Meditate on why.)
Remind Yourself
I’m exactly where the universe intended me to be.
What is for me cannot be against me.
Gray is ok.
I didn’t come this far, to only come this far.
Things can still be wonderful, even when they don’t go according to plan.
Recite these quotes:
Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life NOW is true prosperity. -Eckhart Tolle
Let go and let God.
What I resist, I persist. What I accept, I move through.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.
And this quote in particular was a key part of helping me get through my first miscarriage; a troubling, dark time that left me searching for the answer to a question I knew I would never find: Why?...
[God] I release to you the burdens that I have been carrying. Burdens you never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon you —all my worries, all my fears. You have told me to not be anxious about anything, but rather to bring everything to you in prayer with thankfulness.
Calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that you are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to you. I release to your will all that I am trying to manipulate; I release to your authority all that I am trying to control; I release to your timing all that I have been striving to make happen.
I thank you for your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. May your will be done, in your time, in your way.
I'm hopeful that the times that we've been forced to slow down or stay home this year has made way for opportunities to go inward. To unpack those expectations. To give ourselves some grace. And to remember that in this very moment, we are OK. And if nothing else, remember I am holding that space for you. And you can hold it for yourself too.
XO
SS
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