Support

April 14, 2021

Reflection: Being vulnerable and needing support is hard.

Today, I’m grateful for: love and support

Challenge: Sit in the uncomfortable.

Today, I got a note in the mail. A sweet card with a kind message from a wonderful friend reminding me that I am strong, I am loved and that it’s ok to not be OK. And I am so grateful.

I consider myself a transparent person. In a trusted space, if you ask me, I will tell. But I always draw the line at the point of “Uhhh actually I’m NOT OK”, meaning this whole ‘letting people in when I’m faced with personal and emotional challenges’ is new...and uncomfortable...and something I’m just not used to.

I mean, nobody wants to feel weak, pathetic, emotionally vulnerable or just plain sad and tell the whole world about it! And the people-pleasing, Enneagram 2 in me cringes at the idea of feeling like my struggles are a burden for someone else....😖 (Cue more anxiety and guilt.)

But I’ve been working on getting more comfortable with the uncomfortable, sitting in the unknown, and giving myself permission to ‘feel all the feels’. It’s new, it’s weird, and to be honest, it’s just a LOT right now. I honestly don’t know if I even KNOW how to let myself be sad. I’m much more comfortable in my role as cheerleader! When others confide in me, I’m quick to offer my heart as a safe space, a shoulder to cry on, a kind gesture of support....so why is it so hard for me to open up and accept the same level of love from others?

In conclusion, I’m working on it. Moment-by-moment, day-by-day, I’m still “sitting” in the uncomfortable, sharing the uncomfortable, and I’m working on being OK with that. And along the way, I am constantly being reminded of the support and love I have around me...and I am so grateful.

p.s. I need more hugs like this in my life! 🖤

XO

SS