Life’s a dance

May 26, 2021

Reflection: This too shall pass

Today, I’m grateful for: Resilience

Challenge: What lessons has your child taught you?

Our sweet Calvin was sick today. He spiked a fever yesterday evening, and we spent the majority of the night/day managing his temp with a balance of fluids and Tylenol. But in true Calvin-style, the kid refused to slow down. Between doses of Tylenol, he would plead, “Shide?”, indicating his desire to go outside.

We spent much of the day toggling between outside exploration and snacks. I’m starting to question if Calvin’s own personal version of hell is snuggling on the couch watching movies with me....Ok, I’m exaggerating, but in all honestly, I am still yet to clock him in one spot for more than 15 mins watching a movie, and I thought of all days, today would be the day....I was wrong. Boy moms, please tell me my day will come! 😩

Of course, I was grateful to see him acting mostly hisself, but the worst part was getting the poor baby a COVID test. In order to return to daycare, he has to test negative so we ventured out to subject the already unwell child to a violent swab up each nostril, to which he responded with the most shrill and haunting cries I have yet to hear as a mother. It broke my mom heart 💔

Aside from the nasal trauma, it was a generally OK day. And oddly enough, an unexpected distraction from our “usual stressors”. There is something about a sick child that just pulls at the heartstrings, and it cultivates responses of the most masculine and feminine nature. On one hand, your strength and power shows up to be strong for your child, and carry them through the trials. On the other hand, your heart aches and your energy pleads for an end to their suffering as you care so gently for this innocent little child.

Powerful and helpless all at the same time. And so is the beauty of motherhood. Holding on tightly and letting go gently, over and over and over again. Guiding our children and learning from them all at the same time. In the famous words of Garth Brooks:

“Life's a dance you learn as you go

Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow

Don't worry about what you don't know

Life's a dance you learn as you go.”

Calvin is resilient (and maybe a little stubborn too). But these are characteristics, among many others, that he has earned all his own. It challenges me in many ways, but at the end of the day, I think it makes my job as a mama a little bit easier. And it’s a steady reminder that I, too, am resilient. That this too shall pass, and that no matter what, we are forever learning and we are forever loved. Today, I’m grateful for my son’s resilience. For everything about him that makes him who he is, and the fact that he chose me in this life.

XO

SS