It’s OK to not be OK

April 8, 2021

Reflection: I’m not OK, but I will be.

Today, I’m grateful for: Opportunities for self-acceptance.

Challenge: Love yourself, wholly.

Sometimes I have many things to be grateful for AND things can be really hard all at the same time. That doesn’t make me any less grateful, but it also doesn’t discredit the depth of those challenges and the corresponding emotions. I’m learning that surrendering and gratitude and all the practices that help keep me grounded are really, really difficult to exercise when I’m not OK....

I will be OK, but right now, I’m not. And as a type A, enneagram 2, people-pleasing perfectionist, that’s just not an option I’ve ever given myself, so I don’t know how sit with that. To give myself permission to have a bad day or week. To let go of all the commitments and expectations I set for myself. To recognize that for all the people that I think I may let down by not feeling myself for a few days, I have just as many people around me that I can lean on in these moments of trial. But I don’t know how to do that!?

As I tread through these waters, I am hopeful for lessons and learnings. Tools and understanding that can help me take my messy, imperfect, full-of-flaws self, and accept her wholly, and with compassion, just as she is, even on the bad days.

XO

SS