Appreciating the bad things

June 21, 2021

Today, I’m grateful for: Reminders 🤍

Today, I saw a post by Sydney Liann that really resonated with me. It was lengthy, but each passage spoke to me in different ways, so I want to unpack it here. The title reads, “How to feel immediate appreciation for the bad things that happen to you.”

The first passage reads:

I was for sure the child who suffered in silence. The one who pretended my emotions didn’t exist in fear of making someone else uncomfortable in the process. A pure-blood people-pleaser. I never had the words (or actions) to know how to properly deal with any emotions other than the positivite ones! But as I grew into adulthood, and in particular, motherhood, I learned how to identify, label and make sense of my emotions in a healthier, more productive way. In this growth, I no longer feared the emotions that come in times of trial and suffering. And for that, I am grateful.

The second passage reads:

I’ve been privileged to not deal with a significant volume of hardship in my life. But in the shadows I have navigated, I’ve always come out stronger. In the moment, it certainly doesn’t feel like a gift, but in hindsight, the growth that has come from my trials has led me to the woman I am today. And I can only hope that a year from now, I’ll look back on these trials with a newfound appreciation and gratitude that I don’t yet understand.

The third passage reads:

“Be liberated in your low,” she says. How profound is that? To find freedom at rock bottom? And oddly enough, I know exactly what she is talking about. In my lows, I’ve been pushed (forced) to come to terms with growth opportunities I’ve struggled with my entire life. It’s not that I’m not aware of these characteristics. They’ve made me who I am, and you don’t just abandon that overnight. But it’s not often your forced to come face-to-face with all of them at once! It sort of feels like some sick form of overtraining or obsessive personal development. Things like patience, surrender, and relinquish of all control. Characteristics that, on the contrary, have served me well in many ways! The type-A in me is screaming “what are you talking about ‘relinquishing control’?!” But in reflection, I’m taking this as an opportunity to sit with it. To let go. To throw up my hands. To practice patience. And to have such a significant opportunity to come face-to-face with all of that is an opportunity I am grateful for. Because with it, I can start to let go of all the expectations I hold for myself that often fuel that fire and demand for “perfection”. Spoiler alert: there’s no such thing.

The fourth passage reads:

We often churn our way through life. We buzz through our days and nights, and everything is good until one day, it’s not. In these moments, I feel my world still moving and buzzing around me, but I sit in the eye of the storm, watching, waiting, witnessing in stillness. In this stillness, I choose to focus on acceptance. I choose hope and faith that whatever reason I’ve found myself on this journey is for the better. And I choose love. Love for myself, for my sweet baby girl, and for this family that I have so longed for and built with this same body that I am counting on right now. It would be fair for me to express frustration or hatred toward this body and the condition I find myself in. But I focus on what I do have, and the incredible feats this body has given me. The ability to conceive a child and sustain a pregnancy. Day after day of growing a human with my body. The same body through which I will ultimately deliver our sweet daughter into this world with where she will move from my womb to this world and take her very first breath as a part of our family. The same body I will use to nurture and feed her with earth side as she continues to grow and develop. Truly, I feel an immense sense of gratitude for this amazing body.

The final passage reads:

One of the core values that I hold dear to my heart is the ever-present commitment to becoming the best version of myself. And that is a journey that never ends. I certainly never could’ve anticipated that THIS would be part of my journey, but here I am. And as with any other trial, it will help me on my journey to the masterpiece that is the best version of me. And for that, I must be grateful, even if I don’t understand it right now.

These reflections have offered me important reminders. Need I not forget the many lessons and experiences that have groomed me for this path I am on. The bumpy roads behind me that have prepared me for this journey, despite how bumpy the current route may feel. I hold on tightly to tools like these because I never know when I might need them. I don’t always get it right and some days are certainly better than others. But that makes tools like these even more important. Thanks Sydney 🖤

XO

SS